The Post With No Name

It is 12:37am and I can not sleep. Although I am tired and not feeling well, I am in a blogging sort of moon. So why not list the most insane random facts about me and include some awesome photos?

1: I am obsessed with history, piratically Henry the 8th. I find his whole life and legacy amazing. If I could I would travel back in time and be a lady in waiting to Anne Boleyn.

2: I am terrified to have kids. I want kids (badly) but I am so afraid I will be a bad mother. Not so much when they are younger but more so when they get older. I had such a wacky childhood I do not know if I would be able to give them the guidance they require. For now I have my pseudo kids, whom I love more than life. 

3: I HATE onions, tomatoes, and peppers. Seriously I would rather eat worms. Oh add any kind of fish to this list as well.

4: I can honestly say only two people in the world know the absolute real me. Grayling and my grandma. I tend to be a very closed off person, I am not mean or anything I just do not like letting people "in" once they are in however I am fiercely loyal. I have many sides and besides the two mentioned above no one knows all of those sides. 

5: I love pretty things (who doesn't) my definition of pretty is a lot different from most and one day I will have my dream house filled with all the wonderfully weird things I want.

Snowed In With This Kid

This weekend I was snowed in my baby not so little brother. Seriously he is the most handsome kid I have ever seen, be jealous! He is also the craziest and sweetest. We spent the weekend hanging out, playing Wii, watching UFO and demon movies. Why? Because we are that cool and he reminds me so much of myself at that age, loves paranormal and educational documentaries. We rock :) 

Two Faces I Adore

Kids grow up way so fast. These two little girls are two of my absolute favorite little people in the universe. As they grow it is bitter sweet, I am sad that time passes by so fast, yet I love seeing them grow, learn, and shine.

Airi going to be 4 in may

Maddi 7 months on the 20th

Highs and Sighs

Last week was one of the biggest ups and downs week in my life! First the whole cancer scare with my grandma, then the car breaking down, and with that the stress of not being able to work, etc. Well thankfully things are looking up. The dermatologist said the growth on my grandma's ear is most likely not cancer. We do not know 100% until the pathology comes back. That was a huge weight lifted off of me.

We are finally getting a good car. I happen to have the worse luck with cars and everytime I buy one something goes wrong. I am not talking about little things like breaks, or a belt, I am talking about transmissions and head gaskets....So anyways this time we went to a dealer and found the perfect little car for us. It is a Honda CRV and is too cute.  The only downfall is of course the payments but we also had to use some of the money for our house down payment to get the car.

On to the house....We were hoping to move in by the new year and luck would have it the current owners are themseleves having a few different issues. So right now we know the house is ours, it is just a matter of time. I am hoping it will be in the spring sometime.

Remember a little thing called a wedding we were suppose to have on the cruise to the Bahamas?  Well we decided not to get married there. I know it would be beautiful, etc etc, but the more we talked and thought about it the more bummed we were. Mainly because all of our family and friends would not be there. Only a handful were going on the cruise. We were going to have a small reception when we got make but honestly with the wedding, cruise, and that it would be too much money. So we decided to have it here. It is still going to be a beach wedding and will still be beautiful, and most important everyone I love will be there. I am hoping we can shoot for a late summer date.

Now some cuteness 

Edit Me:Baby Bear

I have not done one of these in so long! Have been busy with my own photography work :)

Original by Wild Ginger Photography

Edited by me

Optimistic

Time To Speak

I really honestly thought 2012 would be an amazing year. We are going on a cruise, getting married, and moving into our first home. My business is doing pretty good and I was am? thinking of going to back to school. It is incredible how one moment can change everything.

The first week of this year was not going too well, I got sick and was am still not 100% better, but that is whatever. On the 5th my grandma (the one who lives with us) had a Drs appointment since she too has this bug. Anyways after my grandma got home my aunt who brought her called me. She told me when the Dr. was looking in her ears he saw a growth on outer upper part of her ear, he looked at it and told my grandma it had to get removed because it was cancer....

Now this is the part that makes be deathly afraid. The growth has been there for awhile and we do not know if it has spread our not. As of right now we are not 100% sure if it is indeed cancer since a biopsy has not been done yet. However there is a really good chance it is. We do not think it is melanoma, but rather either basal cell or squamous cell. Of course we do not know 100%.

As some of you already know I have a horrible phobia of cancer. I was doing pretty good but this just re-triggered it. I know I need to stay positive but it is so hard. I keep fearing the worse. What if it has spread to her brain? what if she does not make it? I can not imagine my life without  my grandma. She is my strength and is the one person in the world who I know loves me no matter what. I hate not knowing.

And to top this whole wonderful year off, on my way to a photo shoot yesterday my car decided to break down...Now we have to dish out god knows how much to fix it. FML

New Year, New Me?

This year all I want to accomplish is to be an improved version of myself. 2011 was pretty good for me. I started mu business Inspired Photography, certain members of my family came back into my life, Maddie was born, and most importantly after 6 years of being best friends and lovers G and I finally got engaged.


This was suppose to be a awesome big post about how great 2012 is going to be. Right now I can not even breathe. I just got some of the worse news in my life, I will write more as I know more. Right now I just feel helpless.

2012 Goals

Personal

read at least one book a week

blog at least once a week

eat better

lose 25lbs for my wedding

Business

be more creative 

try a new posing idea for every shoot

do not let other photographers get me down

get my new camera by June