My God

well since I can't seem to find a religion that fits me why don't just make my own? All religions have a creator so am creating Cullenism based on the holy books of the prophet Stephenie Meyer here are the guidelines

Do not take the lord Edwards name in vain for this shall result in  trip to the volturi

Blessed be the mother Esme for she will heal all

Blessed be the patron Saint of the sick Carlisle

Blessed be the saint of self-control Jasper

Blessed be the saint of  love Rosalie

Blessed be the saint of All knowing Alice

Blessed be the saint of strength Emmett

The quillettes are the chosen ones whom great power has been given

Those who are of great faith will make the yearly pilgrimage to the holy land of Forks

Immortal children are of the greatest sin

We must all strive to a state of Bella meaning we are worthy of the blessings and love of Edward

Jacob is the son and is not greater than the father Edward but he does deserve devotion as well but not greater than Edward for he is the almighty

We must love fellow human for they are not snacks

Renesmee is the blessed child from the holy union

bow every time you are in the presence of a silver Volvo for it is the lord Edwards choice of transportation

and last but not least blessed be Stephenie Meyer the holy one who has provided the holy books collectively known as the Saga

sounds fun and easy right!!! hell it beats all other religions and is more logical than Scientology or Mormonism!!!!

Dear God

God if you truly exist and are truly all-powerful, why is their so much suffering in this world? It is written that man was made in your image, if so then does that mean you are imperfect, narcissistic, hateful, and lose? because that is how the majority of people are today. We all want to believe but how can we when there is so little evidence. When I look out the window I see a world full of beauty, but this beauty can be very deceiving. While there is hope, love, and grace in this world, there is also hatred, death, and suffering.Almost all major religions who claim to be your people say you have a plane and someday, somehow there will be no suffering. Well I ask you this why not now? What exactly are you waiting for. We are you children, yet you put us through so much. I don't know of any parent who would sit back and watch there children suffer when there is something you can do about it.

Sometimes I wonder if we were created to be some kind of entertainment to you. after all we are made in your image and we humans do love to watch others suffer. I have seen people who have prayed and receive no answer, why? Do you want children to suffer, do you want families torn apart, and do you like watching every single human being on earth try to contemplate the meaning of their existence and whether or not you are out there somewhere?I personally sit here everyday and wonder if you are real, or if you are just as fabricated as Santa Claus or the easter bunny. and lets say you do exist why are we threaten into serving you?  We are told that if we "sin" we are either going to hell or will die without the hope of an afterlife or a never-ending life here on the earth. The funny thing is everything seems to be a sin to you. We have free will but yet we have to use to please you or we will parish, we have to follow commandments or else we will parish, we have to act and dress and certain way or else we will parish. Some will claim that these "rules" keep us safe and pure, but lets say I follow all these restrictions but just happen to not believe, will I still go to hell? 

I use to devote my life to you, but how can one or two mistakes have caused you to turn your back on me? If i am truly your child help me! make me well, make me believe in you againTrust me when I say I want to believe in the fact that I will never die and I want to believe that you are somewhere out there watching us and keeping us safe, but the problem is I don't see it! I can do a search on google for the word murder or rape, or any other horrible thing, and I will get millions of hits. I have seen families whose children are dying and all they do is pray to you and hope that you will not take their child from them, yet you do take their child. You leave families in pieces with shattered hearts. 

So god if you do exist why do you not show us? In biblical times there were great miracles including raising people from the dead, well god I think this world is in dire need for a miracle and if you provide it I will never doubt you again. but until then I will keep searching for my own beliefs and keep hoping you exist but get prepared if you don't. God bless us everyone.

Love Thy Self

I sometimes wonder if the majority of people truly love themselves. I always see girls who claim to adore themselves but talk crap about other people especially other girls.why? Do you really need to put other people down just to feel good about yourself. This behavior is so childish and immature, we see it everywhere on reality t.v , the web, in school, in work places. It is so sad! Women need to start focusing on their self happiness and worth and stop worrying about other people. We all have our faults but we also all have a special uniqueness about us. I feel that you are truly a gown woman when you can realize what your faults are and admit to them and also realize what makes you special and embrace those qualities. I know my faults. I am very opinionated, I judge people to quickly, I am way to self conscience, I find it hard to see things from other's prospective, spoiled, when i want something I want it now, and there is a million more things I can list. On the positive side I am passionate, funny, I stand up for myself, I am a strong women, when I love I love very deeply, I am an amazing designer, a great wife and mommy, I love animals and treat them with the up most respect. once again this list can go on and on. The point is Stop putting other people down because all it does is make you look stupid. Learn to love your self, once you can do this you will realize that all you are doing is taking your self-consciousness and projecting it on others. This will lead to a life of self-hatred.

Early Experiences

I was around 6 years old when my father was baptized as a Jehovah's witness, he use to study with my sister and I once a week, we would open in prayer each of us taking a turn saying the prayer. we were read and taught from the my book of bible stories and at first I loved all the stories and pictures. like that of Jonah, Abraham, and all the other godly men in the bible. we would look up some of the scriptures cited and learn how to find our way through the bible. afterward we would spend time with my dad and goof around and play. it was a lot of fun, as we got closer to the end of the book it changed this is when Armageddon is brought up and I remember all these graphic scary pictures and how Jehovah was going to kill all the bad people in the world. these are the pictures I remember vividly.....

does this look like something a child should be exposed to? I remember asking how come some of the people who are being destroyed don't look bad? I was told because they where not god's people a.k.a Jehovah's Witnesses. At this time i never directly asked but wondered what about my family? they weren't Jehovah's witnesses mind you I was 5 years old worrying about if my family was going to die tomorrow or whenever Armageddon came. I had nightmares about seeing my family being killed, and would worry about whether or not I would be killed or saved. This was a lot of stress to put on a child and believe me it out weighed the hope of a paradise earth where i would live forever and be able to play with tigers and swim with sharks. So that was my first taste of Religion.